Better, not bitter.

Got together with some good ol' friends earlier this evening - a reunion we've waited a little over four years for, so we had a lot to catch up on. Updates on how our careers were goin, how married life goes beyond clichés, why the relationships we were in last we were together ended in a rut or a complete blackhole. Big questions about The Ex were inevitable.

Not that it was a surprise to anyone but myself. Right from the onset, most of my closest friends made no secret of their disapproval of The Ex. The blob of self-righteous arrogance just had a knack for alienating everyone & made a bad habit out of pointing out how all the people in my life were not a desirable influence in one way or the other. He even envied the attention & dedication I poured into my role as Editor-in-Chief at our college publication, letting me continue on with my 'nonsense' only because I got a monthly honorarium from it that channeled into his living expenses. You can imagine my closest friends' joy & relief that THAT relationship finally along the lines of "better late than never".

Anyways, I digress.. Reason why I'm sharing is that I am amazed at myself. I survived a grossly one-sided relationship that ended traumatically after five and a half years of trying to please an overpossessive control freak, & yet when I was bombarded with questions today there wasn't an ounce of pain or bitterness pinching my soul. I was completely at peace. Not a single tear wasted.

Do I regret having wasted so much time out of my youth on him? True, I deserved better all this time - but I only know that now because of that time in my life. And my claim to being a survivor comes from that big mountain I conquered. I am thankful, most of all, because I fell in love with God & found in Him the courage to conquer the demon. I came alive because that relationship killed me.

All is well that ends well indeed.

In tears.

I was at the metro station waiting for an elevator when I heard a little voice repeatedly calling out, "Mommy, Mommy!" Turned my head to see this exquisite, grinning, rosy-cheeked creature running with arms outstretched towards the Filipina standing beside me. The tiny girl's daddy followed close behind, adding to the surprise and delight on the woman's face.

What a blessing to witness this beautiful scene! Out of that single, precious moment came forth a surge of emotional memories: I remembered being a little girl; I remembered my little sisters; I remembered my parents and the loving home in which we siblings waited for them to come home after a long weekday. It was all too much. My happy tears said everything else for me.

Thank You, Lord, for punctuating a stressful workday with such a priceless gift. My heart is alive, my spirit is blazing and my palms laid out in praise for Your everyday miracles. Grant me a moment in return to now pray for that little girl and her family - that they may always find contentment in each other, joy in Your paths and more reasons to celebrate this life You have bestowed. I pray, too, for all the families out in the world. Especially those struggling in the face of worldly forces and temptations. Help us all forgive and rebuild where needed, and emerge ever stronger together. In Jesus' name, I offer these solemn words of thanksgiving and petition. Amen.