Better, not bitter.

Got together with some good ol' friends earlier this evening - a reunion we've waited a little over four years for, so we had a lot to catch up on. Updates on how our careers were goin, how married life goes beyond clichés, why the relationships we were in last we were together ended in a rut or a complete blackhole. Big questions about The Ex were inevitable.

Not that it was a surprise to anyone but myself. Right from the onset, most of my closest friends made no secret of their disapproval of The Ex. The blob of self-righteous arrogance just had a knack for alienating everyone & made a bad habit out of pointing out how all the people in my life were not a desirable influence in one way or the other. He even envied the attention & dedication I poured into my role as Editor-in-Chief at our college publication, letting me continue on with my 'nonsense' only because I got a monthly honorarium from it that channeled into his living expenses. You can imagine my closest friends' joy & relief that THAT relationship finally along the lines of "better late than never".

Anyways, I digress.. Reason why I'm sharing is that I am amazed at myself. I survived a grossly one-sided relationship that ended traumatically after five and a half years of trying to please an overpossessive control freak, & yet when I was bombarded with questions today there wasn't an ounce of pain or bitterness pinching my soul. I was completely at peace. Not a single tear wasted.

Do I regret having wasted so much time out of my youth on him? True, I deserved better all this time - but I only know that now because of that time in my life. And my claim to being a survivor comes from that big mountain I conquered. I am thankful, most of all, because I fell in love with God & found in Him the courage to conquer the demon. I came alive because that relationship killed me.

All is well that ends well indeed.